Bless you all and stay strong! 10 Things Nobody Tells You About Losing a Parent. Good memories but I still ask myself this question every day “Why do our parents have to die? All I thought about was how much of a stubborn pain I was. Others facing similar circumstances may need more time — or less — before wanting to move forward. I miss him so much. And that made me stiff towards him sometimes, as well. I lost my mom 4 months ago after being by her side thru her chemo & pain . Sometimes I speak to my dad and tell him just how much I love him and miss him and just hope that he can hear me .! I did feel extremely guilty, he was loved and I miss him everyday. I spent the days before he passed crying. My wife has been my only savory. I lost my mom unexpectedly 4 years ago yesterday, and it hurts just as much as when I got the phone call about her passing. I had to transfer real estate and phone bills and Netflix accounts into my name. My dad’s generosity had a phenomenal impact on the people he came into contact with. Find that special moment that will mean so much to both of you and hold on to it. The grief is manageable to an extent but the purpose is still up there. I spend nights out in clubs because it’s the only place they did not go. Thank you for sharing your story with us. She always has a big smile on her face.” But on the inside I’m not ok. Just last week my family were going to get our passports done and the lady there said “the children’s father will need to be there too” and my mom said “ he’s deceased.” That really hurt to be reminded about that. After my trip to many places but now I feel lost. 3/6) Childhood memories do fade overtime but I try to remember the best pieces. He had stage 4 cancer… I took a compassionate leave from work and university so I can be a full time caregiver and watch over him. Love cindy. That’s why you’re on this page. Even so, I loved him very much. If you’re reading this, I am also 25 and lost my dad a month ago. I still remember he drove me to my school for the last time. The part that gets me is that she passed away on my graduation day. he wasn’t sick and he was supposed to be at mine a day after his died… i kept calling him trying to find out where he was, not realizing he was dead and no one knew ( he lived alone)… he was 65… we had plans to do somethings together when he came around. She had been in poor health (and attitude) for years. Adult orphans are expected to just get on with their grief quietly. I love talking about my Daddy because he was such a wonderful man. I’m worried that I’m shutting off my emotions since I haven’t cried the last two days, even if others have cried in front of me, which normally would make me at least tear up. It still feels so unreal. I googled this cause I don’t know how to respond or process this. I pray that God will envelope you and your family as you weather the storm of your father’s demise together. I guess it still feels like that. I can’t accept this. Your son Chris. It’s like I’ve had my share of happy begginings and whats left are just the sorrow endings.. And i’m only 24 when they left, didnt even cry when they die, trying to be tough as duck. They don’t know what to say or how to handle it. It’s unexplainable how much I miss him, I wish they had visiting hours in Heaven. He was perfectly healthy with no underline condition s not even blood pressure issue yet he contracted the virus and in the space of two weeks he was gone!! I haven’t found a way through the grief itself. Being the primary caregiver to my Brother, we all moved in together so we could help one another. Thanks for this post. 4) I felt at fault because he had symptoms all day that everyone, even he ignored. My dad also had a hard time demonstating his feeling, maybe because of the way he grew up. I just feel so alone and sad. I lost my dad a few months ago. I miss him so much. I know these feelings are just beginning. I got some kind of feelings, pains, tension and so angry in a way that is so mysteriously, Thanks for this I recently lost my dad and I’m only 12 years old but I’m still suffering a bit. 14 days…..seriously. Thank you all for reminding me that I am not alone in this. I have just got more used to the trauma and better at managing my emotions through age. It’s like it feels like it happened yesterday and this pain is unbearable. I composed myself and went out and paid for their meal wrote that scripture on the ticket. Since he died I haven’t been the same I am a different person. Happiness is no more but a high for me. I had just seen my father the night before when he was sent to the hospital while working at his company. Then to try to keep my Mom monitored through all of this. Thanks . Thanks for the article. It made it so real & his death so final. Let them see your kids so they will remember. I cant explain how i feel about that. It was completely unexpected and I was across the country when it happened. However now she could not stop me from doing it. *i am crying rn. He had a cardiac arrest at my house. For weeks, a cloak of confusion, rage and disbelief descended. It would take more time, and ultimately meeting a man worth mentioning, before I felt ready for the world to know I had “moved on.” But when I did feel ready, I was surprised to find I encountered very little judgement at all. Ha! I felt like my father was not honored in the way he should have been. Losing my older brother to a decision which caused him to be jailed in June. I can’t imagine how I’m going to live the rest of my life without him. I sure hope you got your answer of Why me Lord and that God said it was because you remembered him and He remembered you!! My husband witnessing my suffering because of my dad’s passing. I just want to confirm that every single thing in this article has been 100% true for me personally. The grief feels insurmountable. It is so so cruel and a despicable act. Initially it was shock, and sadness. I hope I am not alone in this thinking. How are you? Now I am grieving and fluctuate between all sorts of emotions. It is definitely the most challenging thing I have ever had to go through. I was told that time is a great healer, but actually that hasn’t worked for me. Thank you for sharing. My dad is my everything. I feel super alone & don’t really know what to do. It was very painful watching him suffer through it all; and I was most grateful his pain, agony and suffering ended as he took his last breath. <3 Big hugs to everyone out there. I recognized the studder, and the way he murmured to break to me My mothers Dead. Thank you for sharing, I just lost my dad 2 days ago. I cant talk to my mom because I do not think she is telling me everything and that’s sad, so I have just dealt with it everyday until I finally met a wonderful man and he listens and has helped me with this big struggle. But just remember you can only put on an act for so long. I also take strength that he was such a fine and well loved man. Talk about future what they’d tell their grandkids and what they’d tell you. His family welcomed us with open arms, his mom becoming my mom, his dad being a dad to me, both being amazing grandparents to all 3 kids. I should have met him last year…i shouldn’t have fought with him… God bless & help us all . Still can’t believe he is no more. It has been 20 years now and I still find it hard at times. The silence would drive her crazy. I am 34 years old. Would you like to have more someday? I was at a party the night before and whilst all’s this was happening he was hanging in his kitchen I feel disgusted and so guilty within my self I could’ve done more he moved back in with me my sister and mum and was living with us for months he’d gotten so much better with us and the one night he goes home he is gone forever because he couldn’t face the demons he was battling. It can often be a source of comfort to hear from someone who has experienced the emotional rollercoaster of losing a loved one and has come out on the other side. I just expected some kind of sympathy for his daughter, some kind of empathy for his first & only grandson. or not..? And this feels like some sort of dream. It doesn’t feel like my life anymore. It’s not an expression, I really lost part of myself. We are blessed that he has not been in any pain. I am the last one left. I lost my dad 4 years ago and I’m still having a hard time with it he was my best friend. After writing my letter to dad this morning There had been some huge rows over the years, mostly about my unwillingness to do what was expected. I couldn’t do anything for my dad who a lot for me and was always ready to do anything and everything. I miss him so much and I’d give anything just to talk to him again. My mothers death happened right in the middle of my seperation of my family. every night I wish I can see him on my dream and have a chance to tell him that I love him and im sorry that I wasnt the daughter that he deserves to have. I only recently lost my Mum (3 weeks) and am trying to push through. It was a strange thing to joke about when we were in our 20s and had our entire lives ahead of us, but that’s how far from reality death was. May their souls rest in peace . It’s hard to see that in the beginning, when the loss feels so dark and heavy. She came once through a dream which I woke up after. It sucks since I always consider my grandparents as my parents, nothing is ever the same anymore. I hope one day I can share my story just like you. I went to a Counsellor for 3 sessions as that was all I was offered. Make memories with them. She was my main motivation to do well in school, I jut wanted her to be happy and proud of the good work she put into me. I feel like he deserved so much more. He was a doer. July. My advice to all going through the now is stay strong. He wanted the best from us and for us. Thank you for this. Yesterday I had to leave the house and go to my brothers because he was getting out of controll he was going around crazy out off his mind and needed to go to the health center. Feel like my heart has been broken in two. Hi Doug The loss of your best friend. I remember always being in the hospital with him, never knowing what was going to happen. Thankfully I am well supported by family and friends. Thanks for this blog and everyone’s comments. I hope it gets easier the more time that passes. Settings. I miss my mum. After a week and half hes released from hospital all fit brill i went back to work after 7 week’s, in my eyes grandparents/ my dad got to spend all that extra time he will eventually miss out on. Sometimes people just have to move or change environments just to survive. It hurts so bad. I dont’ know. I knew there was nothing I could do and that he is in a better place free of pain, discomfort, disappointment and despair. Life wants to go on, but I just can’t. His death has made me take a closer look at my relationship with my two kids. The loss of your road trip companion. My heart physically aches and I am on the verge of tears all the time at what basically feels like the loss of my family. I lost my dad last week. It was overnight and completely unexpected due to an aneurysm. My mum didn’t handle anything well and turned angry and violent towards me in the second year and my siblings wanted me to leave as it was considered I was the problem. It’s odd because I’m normally an emotional person. I am 33, its been 21 years since he’s passed and anything that reminds me of him causes me to tear up or break down completely. Hello and thank you. I finally got home, and we had a call with every surgeon there was. I’m 49 years old and I have been lucky enough to still have my grandparents in my life. Everything I have ever achieved I did to make him proud and I feel that I let him down. I can only hope I can overcome them. My baby brother is the reason why I’m still here. The last time I saw him in person was late Nov 2019 – I live and work in a different country. I have a good life. Suddenly I got a strange direct message on instagram from people that I don’t know before, and it was mum partner‘s wife. He only survived 6 months after the diagnosis… so much has happened. Same with his brother, my uncle, who I loved just as much as Dad at times. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's there all the same. Selfishly I want him back but know in my heart he is better off not being here in pain. He had a heart pain that night, and just within an hour and half from 911, home to the hospital, he passed away. Bottling things up never helps. I sometimes forget how to control myself and emotions and everything falls apart, but that’s a part of life. There is a panel of scientists, neurologists, phycologists etc that are studying NDE’s (near death experiences) as they call them since many people were afraid to tell their stories for so long, but slowly people are coming forward since the 1970’s to tell their stories. I just lost my Dad two hours ago. Then one day a poke breaks and the entire thing falls. I see the world in a more mortal intimidating way. I started calling my father at 5AM, his phone was right next to his bed and he never picked up the phone. I’ve actually suffered from PTSD and anxiety since my Dad passed away, hit me around 2 months after… I then fell pregnant with my first born 6 months later and found out I was carrying…a boy! From india. I’m 30 years old now my dad passed away 8 years ago of kidney cancer 2 weeks before I turned 22.I feel like I changed since he died. I am 59. Her death was so unexpected, we thought it was gonna be another normal day. And sometimes I’ll forget about because I have other things in my life, but other times it hits me and I have a meltdown because I realize that he won’t be there for my future. Thank you Lane, I have a very similar situation too you. I’m going through the motions to hugging people and talking but I can’t yet fully process what really just happened. I’ve started journaling and that’s truly helped me in ways I can’t even explain. When life has been tough, and I’ve needed his strength and his guidance, I’ve felt so lost and alone. And I’m not going to be that person who brings it up saying, pity me pity me. My dad 8 years ago and my mom a year ago and I am the only child. But I didn’t die first. He hasn’t ever given me the opportunity to talk , ask questions. Thankyou for your insight. I agree 100% with everything you’ve stated. I have picture frames of them all over the house from the time they fell in love, to their marriage, to our lives together and pictures 3 years before both of their deaths. It’s been comforting to relate to other’s emotions so like my own. It is extremly painfull, still. I am sad and empty and feel like I’ll never be back to normal again. 1 week ago was someone lost their children alone on the otherside we see him kids grow up quick that... Pulled over to a rest stop and fell apart helplessly him like I should not be involved with once... 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